It's noisy in my head
It is noisy in my head. New thoughts will jump out from hidden corner, taking over the existing thoughts, trying to take the space and attention of my consciousness (or my being, I am not sure the best word to describe the one that control my attention).
That is the opposite of calmness and being present. The thing is, those thoughts and the whole power control make it hard to be in the present.
This is my biggest struggle and probably the source of all my anxieties. When I am stressed, thoughts will just pop up in my head endlessly, about the past, the future, the what if, the regret, the worry...
Social media, screens, news and the whole attention economy model make it worse. The more ideas that others try to communicate to me, the more seeds of thoughts are planted on hidden corners of my head, waiting for the right moment to pop out.
Mediation is the exercise to recognise, acknowledge and send those thoughts away as soon as they pop up, so that I can focus on just being there, to have more space in my head. So that it doesn't have to be so tiring chasing thoughts. So that it can be calm and peaceful.